Nice Guys Finish First

So I took another deep breath and called him to apologize again. I talked to him this time and he told me that everything was cool and that I had "done no damage" in his words. He is such a truly nice guy that likes everyone and everyone likes him. He is so absolutely cool. That is what I was most concerned about when I made an ass of myself, that we were just becoming friends and I go and screw it up. So I have a few more mid-year resolutions. My one last month was to say hello to everyone that I knew instead of waiting for them to say hello to me first. My next resolution is to cut down on the swearing, I don't even like that I swear and I get mad at myself for doing it so I want to quit. Next is that I want to be a nicer person that doesn't gossip. I really appreciate that quality in men and that they don't talk about everyone so I want to try to be more like that. I have this one friend that never gossips, whenever we sit and visit we actually talk about what is going on in our lives, not what is happening in everyone else's life. I really respect her for this. I also want to be a nicer person. I don't like bad mouthing and bashing people and so I want to quit. I have always said that there is only one person in control of my life and that is me so I can do these things, the only person that could stop me is me.

Weekend

Well I wrote one more final today and now I only have two left to do. One is a take home exam so I should do well on it I think. The weekend was another turn of events. I am starting to wonder if I am someone that thrives on crisis. It seems like I try to always have a story or someone else's story to tell. Don't worry it is usually the basic stuff, nothing that you wouldn't tell anyone yourself if you are wondering what I am sharing. I wonder then is that why I always try to be involved with a whole bunch of things, so that my life doesn't seem as boring as it actually is. That I lay on the couch and do absolutely nothing when I am not out with someone doing something. I don't get embarrassed very often and I try not to have any regrets in life. But boy do I ever regret Saturday night. I am pretty sure that I completely screwed it up. And it makes me really mad if I did because it is my own stupidity that caused me to lose whatever I had in the first place. I sometimes wish I could just hit rewind and go back. So why did I do it? Did I learn anything? Yeah, that I shouldn't drink because I totally lose control. It pisses me off to that I can't just say, "look I do this to everyone when I've had too much, if you could see my phone you would see that I called everyone, my ex, my brother, a couple friends, someone who isn't even my friend, you weren't the only one!" And it isn't like I called and was telling you how much I liked you, I stay clear from that conversation, even when I am drinking. So I PRAY TO GOD that you forgive me and that you realize that I was just a dumb drunk girl and you will call me again. Although I already know that it won't be for about a month because you're going to Vancouver and San Francisco on your next days off. So that is it for today, I'm done ranting. Just forgive me.